On Avoidance

How far out of the way
will you go to make sure
it doesn’t happen?

And how much closer
will it bring you to the truth?

What do you think will happen
if your greatest fears come to life?

Whatever you fear probably won’t happen,
but what you make happen by avoiding it might be worse.

3 ideas + 3 questions on avoidance, from me.

Avoidance is about not doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. Avoidance is a choice. We choose not to do things when we fear there will be more serious consequences in following through with them. In avoidance, we think we are playing it safe and we are lying to ourselves. Avoidance is dangerous. By ignoring it, we think we can control the outcome we want, or avoid one altogether. We are denying reality and slowing down our growth. Most of the time, in choosing avoidance, we make things more unpleasant than first perceived threats. The longer we avoid taking action, the harder things get. And when we finally do something about it, we have created a more difficult problem to sort out and deal with. The amount of effort we have invested in going out of our way to deal with it later has emptied the tank. We have spent more of our life-force avoiding it than we would have doing it in the first place.

3 ideas on avoidance:

  1. Acceptance is the secret heart of avoidance.

  2. Accept it. Then, just do it.

  3. List 10 things you are avoiding right now. Pick one thing from the list. For the next 30 days, spend at least 30 minutes a day taking one small step towards completing it. If you finish it before 30 days, pick the next thing and continue.

Plus, three questions:

  1. Where does avoidance work to your advantage?

  2. Is it more advantageous to get it done or avoid it?

  3. Which leads to better outcomes: avoiding or doing?

3 insights on avoidance, from others.

I often work by avoidance.

Brian Eno

Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.

Helen Keller

It's the little things that find us out, the little things we refuse to do in order to avoid doing the big things that can save us.

Ralph Ellison

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